On your wavelength learning to glow. I'm your friend and host Lobro. Today is the beginning of an adventure. The last four episodes I have laid the foundation for us because this next year I am not gonna be accepting, uh, any guest spots on the podcast. And we're gonna go on this adventure I have planned for the next however many episodes through the year. And it's, it's about fear. The episode's called Fear Is a Compass, Not a Cage, Turning Anxiety into Alignment. So let's get into it. What does that mean? Um, I'm gonna start with a personal story. When I was growing up, I was afraid of a lot of things, including. Metal (music). When I was young, I liked wearing all black, and nowadays like metal is one of my favorite genres. If you've ever watched my show live on Twitch, you'll see all the neon colors. I love color. I guess what I'm trying to point towards is that these fears or things that scare us when we're kids that we realize as we grow up aren't actually scary. Some of those live with us, and you may be protecting that small child inside of you for no reason at all. And if you've been learning how to be aware of yourself, as we discussed in that first episode, and you're being present and you're being open, then I'm sure you've noticed a lot of these fears pop up. It's because we've identified with them, it's because they have left a mark on us, but what if a fear was, what if this is our compass? What if this is pointing towards, hey, "the obstacle is the way," as Marcus Aurelius said. What if the things that we're afraid of that we don't wanna do that we're afraid to do that we've always been afraid to try. Is there something terrifyingly fun? Like you've always wanted to do it, but you've never tried it. Or maybe you already have something you're really passionate about, but you're afraid to show people or bring it in front of the world. Well, I want to lay the case today, that discomfort is the direction, the anxiety, the things that you're anxious about, it's a sign for you to align it. It means that there's something that's bothering you that you haven't overcome yet. I've, I've laid the foundation in the last four episodes to explain how to heal these things that come up, these thoughts and these fears. These, I don't know, samskaras. But what if they're telling you, "hey, come this way." I was afraid to come back to doing this show for a long time. I was afraid to start this show so afraid that it took me seven years. I've been streaming off and on for seven years and eight years, maybe eight. And I'm just now on episode five. It's never too late to start, no matter the age. What if your discomfort is a call? What if this is the direction you're meant to go? Oh, Loren I don't believe in destiny. Well, I don't know if I do either, but can't you decide for yourself who you want to be and where you want to go and what you want to do? Joseph Campbell says, "the cave you fear to enter holds the treasure you seek." I was just telling my audience before we started recording how alive I feel making this show. How much joy it brings me, how much I'm loving every step of it and producing it. The editing, yeah, there's some monotonous things that in the moment feel maybe a little annoying, but when I get them done, I'm so proud of myself. I feel so good to actually have done it. And every week is one more inch forward. Inches, not miles, right? Be aware that you're aware. Another way to say it, uh, as Marcus Aurelius said, is "what stands in the way becomes the way." See if, if whatever the things are in your life that you call problems, what if, what if we reframed those as your situation? We only call them problems because we desire not to have them. But if we desire not to have them, then we have to overcome them. So is not the obstacle the way that we have to go. So as Brene Brown said, don't armor up. I want you to try and experiment this week. Start to notice these fears, and I want you to name them. Start to notice the things you call problems. Write them down in the same way that you get a good idea and you write it down. I'm gonna do this with you. I'm not just telling you to do this and not doing this, I'm gonna do this with you because we're learning to be aware of ourselves, we're probably starting to notice things about ourselves we've never realized before. When you're sitting in the seat of awareness, you can look at your anxiety and your fears with almost an objective, conscious view. You can stand back and you can look at it from a place of, of logic instead of feeling. And when you start to write all of these down, they're gonna become less scary. I remember we talked about ritualizing our routine? This is almost the same thing. I'm almost, these are cousins. I'm nearly talking about the same thing because what I'm saying is look at these fears and could you, could you move one inch closer towards them to solving it? You know, one of my big fears for a long time was finishing my taxes. And because I put it off so long, it became scarier and scarier and scarier because I put coming back to the show off for so long, it became scarier and scarier and scarier. Our fears grow, but when you become present and aware, they shrink to the present moment. They're not actually as big as we think. We like to catastrophize, don't we? We like to look at, as i, of all people would know, trust me when I say this. I am, I am so good at catastrophizing that I. My wife constantly is reminding me of what I'm doing here, the things that I'm teaching. To love myself, the way that I love her, and that I love you and the way that I love everybody else. Someone in chat says, oh, Katie says I have a gold medal in catastrophizing. Yeah, me too. So write down the catastrophe. And later on when you're past this catastrophe, you're gonna look at it and you're gonna laugh at yourself. You're gonna look at it and be like, I, I really made this a bigger deal than it needed to be. And I found, I found the way to make it a bigger deal. So writing it down. Then start writing down how it feels. Don't just write it down, write how it feels, and then maybe think of something you could do to work on it to move towards it. For me, it was just calling a tax guy. I just called somebody and it put me on a step forward. Okay, now I have a plan. I did one tiny step, it took five minutes, one tiny step, and tomorrow I'll take another. As much. I have 60 episodes planned as much as I want to do like seven of them this week, one inch at a time, it's gonna build. What if this discomfort is your call to adventure? Hmm. Martha Beck. She wrote, uh, Finding your Way in a Wild New World said, your soul knows the path. Your mind just argues. Why would our soul be afraid of something if not because, it's, uh, how do I say this? Let's, let's just reword this. When a fear comes up, something you're scared of doing, or you're scared of revealing to the world, or scared of wanting to do, or maybe it's your life situation and this person's annoying you, or, uh, you get, you get angry every day you drive on the road, driving down to work or, uh, whatever it is. You have these things in your mind. If you start to notice them, that they, that you are uncomfortable with, the things that you dislike, the things that you dislike, those are fears. When you judge someone else, you're actually judging yourself. The only reason you would judge someone else for that is because you judge yourself for it, right? So be aware that you're aware and start to notice this. As I called this episode, "Fear Is a Compass, Not a Cage." When I started looking at my fears objectively from that awareness point of view that I taught you and or that you learned on your own from somewhere else, good for you. When I started to do this and I started to look at these fears and chase them down, they, they weren't as scary as I thought. Coming back to streaming was actually kind of easy. How many times have you done that scary thing and you're like, oh, that wasn't so bad after all. So going back to finding the smallest, tiniest step that you're willing to do, do that. Find, find it. Find that smallest, tiniest step that you're willing to do, and that's what you're gonna do right now. As soon as this is over today, tomorrow, and you'll start to learn the fear and the overcoming of it is almost like destiny calling. Listen, I know some people may not believe in destiny or callings or meant to bes, and that's fine. It doesn't matter whether you believe in that or not. You know, I just believe the placebo effect is real. So why not believe in the fact that you have a great destiny and write it for yourself. So whether or not you believe in destiny, you can have your own destiny. Remember I told you, I don't remember which episode it was that these things that we see other people succeed at that we "wish" in quotations,"wish we could do." How many times have you said that to yourself? Man, I wish I could do that. You actually can. I mean, barring the, the, the physical or mental capable, like actual inability. Like, like, like you, you, like, you're blind and you can't see, and you gotta do it a different way. Okay. Like everyone has their own challenges, but it doesn't matter. What it is because that obstacle is yours to overcome. No one can own it but you, and if you create this destiny for yourself, you write this destiny for yourself and you decide what it is for yourself and you take one tiny step forward every day, toward something. Those things that all those successful people do that you wish you could do, you'll find you're capable of also. They're actually not as hard as we think. Making a podcast wasn't as hard as I thought. God knows why I was afraid to start. So if there's a thing that you've been afraid to start, if there's a thing that you've been afraid to do or like you wish you could do, what's one tiny step you could do to move towards that? Here's one that I did recently, and I think I've told you this story before, and if not, you're gonna hear it again. And if so, you'll hear it again. Uh, I type like a with chicken talon claws. I don't use all my fingers. I've recently had to relearn how to type. Not had to, I wanted to. I started take, I went to typing.com, I took their test and I just, every day for a while until I learned all the new movements. And when I started to learn all the new movements, the old way went away. I started to enjoy typing this way. I still find myself going back to it, but just like I have to come back to the moment learning awareness, I have to come back to doing it the new way every time. And you know what I've learned, even at 38 years old, I can learn or do anything. Simply teaching that tiny new skill to myself gave me so much confidence. Massive amounts of confidence and that's why I'm telling you if there's something you're afraid to do or something, you can break into a small step that you can do now, you should. Yes, I'm gonna, should on you. Normally I don't, but you should. Fear is a compass, not a cage. Allow your fears to take you. Can you imagine what your life would look like if you weren't afraid? And I mean, afraid of people. I still get anxiety walking into the grocery store and being around lots of people sometimes, but it is not the way to overcome it by, by doing it little by little. Some people may laugh at me and think that that's a ridiculous fear. I'm sure you're a afraid of something too. We all have them. And not just fears. I keep saying fear, but when I say fear, I mean your life situation. Your the things that you label as problems, because you can choose to look at them all as problems. Or you can actually think of them as your situation. It just is, and I have to take care of it. Well then those things aren't really fears anymore, are they? Those things are actually like just something you do now? So. Like Frodo, take one tiny step towards Mormor every day. Whatever your Mordor is, and I'm gonna do it with you. We're on this adventure together. I'm not teaching anything I won't do myself. And if you call me out for not doing the things that I'm doing, I'm gonna be like, you know what? You're right. And my wife does this all the time. It reminds me because I'm really hard on myself and I'm sure you are too. Who isn't, right? What's the quote? We're all our own worst critics. People are scary as chat says. Yeah. Here's the thing guys. You don't have to be fearless to to, to do this. If you reframe these fears in situations, look at them as callings, purposes, things that you have to do to live a fulfilling life. Because if you don't overcome them, you won't get to that fulfilling life, right? So look at them as part of your purpose. Marcus Aurelius, I'm gonna say it again."What stands in the way becomes the way." Fear is your compass showing you the way to living the most free life possible. Otherwise, if it's not a fear, you wouldn't be thinking it of it as a fear, and you wouldn't be none the wiser or worried about that thing. Right? Write down these fears. Take one tiny step towards them and start calling them your purpose, your destiny, to overcome your, your situation, to take care of your situation. If you refuse, if you refuse to follow your destiny in this way, your life will shrink to your fears. When you refuse the calling, life shrinks to fit your fear and your calling is. Every single one of those things that you label problems or things that you haven't taken care of, that you should, that you've been putting off that you haven't done. And look, if your, if your to-do list is clear and you don't have any of these things, then good. Great. Keep clearing 'em out because you know what this is doing? This is keeping the heart open. This is letting that stuff through when you overcome and get and, and, and, and, and start moving one step at a time, it's keeping your heart open, not being afraid of what's next. People always say that the opposite of love is hate, but I actually think love and hate are pretty similar. The opposite of love is fear. I want you to chew on that this week. The opposite of love is fear. It's because when we're afraid, it might be some part of ourself that we're not loving, something that we haven't forgiven, or some unrealistic thing that we've put into our mind from the future that we can't control. Most of these fears are usually things outside of our control. You are usually much more powerless than you think you are. Loren you're not helping me here. Sometimes I call myself Loren, That's my real name. If you start to realize that you don't really have control over all those things, then you don't need to worry about them in the present moment. Then they become future you problem. And when future you crosses that bridge and gets there, and you're no longer afraid of that fear 'cause you marched one step at a time towards it, you're gonna walk through that door and keep going and you're gonna say goodbye to that thing. Think about all the times in the past that you've wanted to do something, learn something, change something about yourself, or just generally do something new. Think about those times for a moment. Have you forgiven yourself for not doing them? Because you gotta start there. Gotta stop beating yourself up and realize you're here in this moment right now. Like I said, the future's out of your control, the past is out of your control, and we are here right now in this moment, together. In this moment, do you really have anything to worry about? Start looking at every crappy situation as an initiation. Ritualize your fears into something you do tiny every day, and you're gonna march one step at a time like Frodo off to Mordor fulfilling that purpose of yours. Why do I say it's your purpose to overcome your fears? Do you wanna live in your fears? Do you wanna live in a world full of all the things that you cause in your head? Or would you rather be free of all of that commotion, all of that negative self-talk, all of that, all of the mean stuff you say to yourself, all the things you judge in others, all the fears and samskaras, and, and future things you're afraid of, past things that keep coming up, all of those, every single one of those things that come up in your mind that bother you. Do you wanna live with them? Go ahead. But I'm telling you, your purpose is that direction, your anxiety and overcoming the thing that you're anxious with is how you align yourself into wholehearted living. So write a list this week. Start naming things in your life situation and stop calling them fears. They just are things that you have to do and take care of. Ask yourself right now, what are you afraid of in your life? What's holding you back? Are you worried about what people think of you?'Cause that's none of your business. Imagine living your life on what you imagine what other people thinking of you are is. Imagine living your life on what you think other people are thinking of you, when they're probably thinking the same thing or just thinking of themself. What if, you weren't worried, yeah, 'cause that was one of my fears showing up here. I had to stop caring about people in my life, what they thought. There's people in my life I'm not on good terms with, that I'm having a hard time with, and honestly, this is one of the heaviest times in my life. I have traditionally never been streaming, never been making content, every time a hard ship in my life has shown up, i've shipwrecked, but this time, this time I'm turning that into this. I'm turning those things that I didn't want to do into this show for you because I'm overcoming my fear by making this. Coming back and putting myself out there, and those people in my life are gonna see that. And you know what? I have to accept and be okay with that. The world is gonna see me this way. I don't care about what they think of me anymore. I don't think about their judgments anymore. Actually, every once in a while, maybe I do, but as I have learned and taught you, I open up my heart, I let it through, I let it in, and I stop being concerned about it. I come back to the present moment. I don't resist it. I allow it. Remember it's not, "this too shall pass." "This too belongs." Now, how many of you have been helped inspired by or had your life improved by something I've said? I knew that if I didn't overcome my fear of coming back and doing this, that I wouldn't be able to bring you the thing that I know I'm capable of bringing you and helping you. All the people that could have been helped by me, or my message or what I'm sharing here will never get affected by that if I don't do it. So I have to overcome the fear. I'm getting a lot of hands raised in chat. I'm, I'm genuinely flattered. What if your fear story could help someone else? But you can't tell that story yet because you're still afraid of it? Your fear story helps someone else locate their courage. I've learned that. Courage is like communal electricity. When one person takes that step forward out, everyone else gets energized. You'll find the more you move forward, your heart expands with that. What do you mean by that, Lobro? What I mean is march forward in your life without a fear in the world. I have no idea what the next moment is gonna bring, but I can't be worried about it. How, how helpful would this show be if I was distracted right now thinking about something else, doing something else if I wasn't present fully here in the moment with you? See, when I became enveloped and talking about this show and bringing forth my message and my heart and my soul to you, I wasn't thinking about the next moment. Heck, I'm not even thinking of the words that are coming out of my mouth. How they arrive to me might be a mystery for the rest of my life. I don't think to think them. And as you've learned, you don't create your thoughts either. So when these fears pop up, learn not to identify them. Sorry. Learn not to identify with them. You need to identify them. Start calling it your life situation. Fear is not danger. It's data. You can't think your way through problems. You can't logic your way into feeling alive. There is no logic in courage except. For the fact that you have to trust that being vulnerable and taking that step forward means that that fear is one tiny step away from being dissipated. The tide, the waves. They don't wait for you to have confidence. There's an old folk saying, folklore saying, I think, uh, what is it? Uh. The universe can't steer a parked car. What if we started thinking of, what if fear was intuition and not stage fright? What if we could take that objective point of view of our mind and say, oh, maybe this is intuition. Maybe this is giving me information. It is data, Break that down. The big thing that you have been pushing off or haven't want to try, or you've been saying, I wish I could do, you're gonna find one tiny small step and do it as soon as possible. And I mean, the tiniest step. Find the smallest thing, and you're gonna do it right after this, or tomorrow, just the small. It could take three seconds, but you have to learn how to break it down, make your leap smaller, then make it sacred. Add it to your ritual. Ritualize it if you do it every day in small steps, you know what I hear all the time? Here's a great example. I'm afraid of needles. I hear that all the time. Lots of people are afraid of needles. Well, I have Crohn's disease and ever since I was 12 years old, I've been getting an intravenous treatment, uh, every seven or eight weeks, and I have to have a needle put into my arm or hand, and I sit there, used to take eight hours. They'd keep me overnight. Multiple days, sometimes now it's one hour in and out, and I may even get to switch to a pill soon, which is very exciting. But I had no choice but to overcome my fear of needles. It was my only choice for survival. But every single time, one at a time, and you know what? I can watch 'em stick it in now, and I'm not even bothered. You know what's really funny? I can't watch it put, I can't watch them put it in someone else. The empathy hurts too much. I'm thinking of, oh, like ow, ooh, I don't wanna look, but for me it's like, oh, sure, I'm still working on it. It's still a fear. I still gotta work on that. Someone in chat said they had to overcome needle fright. Uber geek says I had to overcome needle fright through my MS medication. Your heart expands in motion. You can't stop and be afraid. You have to take a tiny inch forward. You gotta take a step like Frodo. You don't have to run there. You just have to walk. It's like communal electricity when we all have the courage to take that step forward. Lots of people raise their hands in chat when they said I helped them. I imagine someone listening to this is probably going to affect other people's lives to a much greater extent than I can or ever will, probably. You know what? That's great. I'm not even comparing, like it doesn't matter. My point is you never know who you can be affecting or helping. You never know what your fear story could do for other people, let alone yourself. So, what is your fear story? What story have you been telling yourself that you're gonna say today? Actually, that's not me anymore. You close that chapter. What fear story do you turn into a destiny story? How, what, what, what things are you gonna turn into your compass instead of a cage? Don't let the fears cage you in. They're a compass for your direction. It's data, it's intuition, it's it's helping you. It the, it's the universe saying,"Hey, over here, come do this." Now, I don't care what you believe about destiny and future and all of that, and honestly, I don't even know if I sure what either. But what I do know for sure is, we write our destiny with every step that we take, and we have the choice to be boxed in or find the path and start walking down it one tiny step at a time every day. That's my challenge for you this week. Write down your fears. You're going to look at your narrative that you've been telling yourself, and you're gonna rewrite it. You're gonna frame this as your life situation. You're gonna frame your problems as to-dos. You're going to frame your fears as data, as destiny, and you're gonna take that awareness point of view and have that objective view enough to look at it and say, "I see that and that's okay. I'm okay with it. And now I'm gonna take one step forward towards it. I have to accept it as it is right now. I can't resist it anymore, and I'm here in this moment with it. I have to embrace it. I was born with this face and this body actually, this body and face has changed over time, but I'm still the same body. I can't choose for it to look any different. I have to exist in relationship with the universe. So you can't will the things that you need into the universe in half second, like unless you're magic heck, but if you can in show me how, but what I do know is not believing it's possible isn't helping. The placebo effect is real. You have nothing to lose by believing that there is something great for yourself to do out there, and it is by overcoming your fears. Except that you'll find wholehearted living you, you'll, you'll imagine a life of no fear, of, of no worrying about other things. When you're with your kids, you get to be totally present. What's your fear story? And what are you gonna do with it, and how are you going to reframe it now. And are you going to notice every time the old story pops up so that you can write the new one? That's all I have for you guys today. Thank you so much. I love you. On your wavelength, learning to glow, I've been your host, Lobro. Go glow this week.