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On your wavelength learning to glow. I'm your friend and host Lobro. Today we're talking about openness. The first episode ever was awareness. Second episode was presence. And the third episode is openness. And uh, today we're gonna be talking about that because these three comprise the three pillars of wave riding. I literally mean wave riding, not, not the water, not surfing, but it means being aware, present, and in the moment it means those three, because those three together are the trick. See. It's one thing to be aware, it's another to be present. But then you have to also accept reality. You have to accept reality as it is. You can't fight it. And I wonder how many resistances we all have to anything really. Whether it's, you're mad, someone cuts you off down the road and that happens all the time and you're just a mad driver now.'cause it, you know, no matter what, you're the victim while you drive. Or I'm sure some people relate to that. I used to be that way myself or like, uh, I mean, even if you dislike the way your government is done or you, you would prefer something be made differently or, I don't know, like come up with a billion preferences. But we lay these judgments in our mind on things all the time, and we kind of don't realize it. And until you're aware and present, you won't see them because you're in them. Right. What happens is you relive that pain every single time. It's like this imprint, right? In ancient yogic traditions. I'm demystifying it, but in ancient yogic traditions, it's called a samskara, and it's this imprint of pain or hurt of something that happened in the past. I can relate to this so well. As someone who has panic attacks, I like to say had, because I want to think that I won't have that in me anymore, but you know, I'll welcome it when it does, and I mean, welcome it. Once you're feeling an emotion. If you're already at the state of feeling it, the only way through is through. You have to keep your heart open. Every time we set a preference or thing, we different dislike or, or judge. Any judgment that we make is something we judge in ourselves. And when you start to realize that you're causing yourself pain because of all your judgments, there's a lot less mental suffering going on. You have to be open to reality as it is. You have to open your heart and accept and let it through. When that, when that panic, panic attack takes over me. The only way through is by allowing. The longer I resist, the harder it is. The worse it is. It is the resistance that causes the panic attack and the, the sooner I accept, allow and allow through me. I'm not saying stuff down the emotion and hide it. I'm saying the exact opposite. Once the emotion has arrived, you accept that it's here. You welcome it as a lesson, and you allow it. If you keep allowing it, then it no longer has power over you. This is almost like, this is the weirdest reference ever, but like, uh, it's almost like Eminem in a rap battle when people make fun of him. You know? Have you seen Eight Mile? What does he do? He accepts it, uses it, and then does his retort, I'll say. But my point is, if you accept things and you allow it through, there's no resistance to it. You don't care what people think, it actually goes through you. It's almost like the one ear out and the other sort of thing. But when we allow it, this is keeping your heart open, this metaphorical heart inside you. You're probably thinking, Loren, I don't, I don't know if that like, yes, I have a heart, but is there like this, this subjective feeling of heart that everyone has? And I'm gonna argue, yes. I'll explain how it's because these samskara, these imprints that keep coming back up, they're our our own judgements about things sometimes, or it's something we've resisted and stuffed down and haven't allowed out. What happens in those panic attacks? I am overwhelmed. A lot of energy comes outta nowhere, right? Well, this happens with good news too. Let's say you just found out you're accepted into a college. Find out you win the lottery. Find out that the ex-girlfriend who broke up with you actually wants to be with you. And what happens in these moments, everyone has, has had a moment, or similar, even of lesser degree or greater than this, something like that. And what happens? You're instantly filled with energy. Energy that you would've argued you didn't have beforehand. Where did that come from? Okay, so think of your judgments and imprints and resistances of everything going on around as these imprints in yourself that you need to allow through. Just open up and accept. Accept reality as it is. Allow the feeling through and you're open to it instead of resisting to it, and it becomes a healing. It, it, the samskara goes away. I have done a lot of work with my panic attacks and now they're just, a lot of the things that used to cause them are now just thoughts. But you know what this is gonna require you to do? You have to meet discomfort with curiosity. So anytime you're uncomfortable, like, here's a, here's a decent example. There used to be this song that reminded me of someone that I am no longer with, right? I'm married to my wife, Christina. Happily. But there used to be a song that reminded me of her, of, of this ex. And I would just avoid it. What did, what happened? It became a recurring samskara. This thing that would come up. Every time it would come up on the radio, someone's radio, I'd have to ask them to change it. I'm just causing myself mental suffering. So, you know what? Instead, the la, when I learned this and started accepting this reality, when I heard it the next time, I just allowed myself to hear it. I sat in the discomfort and I allowed it, and I said, I accept this. This happened. I, I can enjoy the song without thinking about. And it became sort of a meditation, staying present with the song, without thinking about her. And now if I can do that, every time it comes back, I can heal this samskara, this recurring pain imprint or judgment or resistance that I have around the world. About the world. Sorry. But you need to meet those resistance, those resistances with curiosity. And this, this is a strength vulnerability. And opening up like this, I mean, Brene Brown is probably one of the most popular, uh, people to talk on vulnerability. And, and while this may not apply to every everyone out there or every. I don't know, group or minority group. I would say that she is right when she says that vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. A lot of us are afraid to be vulnerable when we should. Now, if you're already in a position of vulnerability, that's different. But I would argue that that is totally true because vulnerability really is the courage to open up and accept and allow reality. And you know what else? Being open means it means forgiving. Because when you forgive someone, you're not forgiving them for them. Forgiveness isn't for the other person as much as they would like to know that they've been forgiven, maybe, probably. But forgiveness is so that you can get past it. Forgiveness is your healing and saying, I'm no longer going to let this bother me. I'm allowing it through. Now, there's a, there's someone, I've started reading their book recently and I don't know much about her. Her name is Tara, Tara Brock. I think I'm pronouncing her name properly. Someone's gonna correct me one day. Uh, but she says, "this too belongs." I used to say this too shall pass, but that's almost like dis not, not identifying with whatever is happening. But now I like this. Instead of this too shall pass, because this says, no matter what happens, this belongs not just I have to accept reality. Nope, it belongs here because it is happening. It is reality. It is as it is. It belongs here. So when those resistances boil up inside of you, those feelings inside your heart,"this too belongs." You have to open up though. You have to open up and forgive the other person for yourself. So curiosity is a strength. Meet these uncomfortable moments by being curious and asking yourself, what is there to learn from this? What am I resisting? What hurts right now? Because it's not just forgiving others. And here's a tough one. It's also forgiving yourself. And loving yourself. Now, I've had people tell me, Loren, Lobro, I have no idea what you mean by loving myself. I don't know how to, you need to take an objective look at yourself and be a, be the one that's aware. Remember from episode one, you're the one that's aware, watching your thoughts, these waves, these brainwaves. You can build a relationship with yourself just like you can with anyone else. And not just that, I would argue you have to build a relationship with yourself if you're ever going to have joy for no reason. And if I had to pick one ultimate objective right now for the, for the Lobro show, it would be joy for no reason. Glowing from the inside, not needing an external source for joy, to be happy to wake up and say, this is gonna be a great day, and I'm okay. This too belongs. Now, I talked about energy a little bit. When those moments come up, whether it's negative energy. Or whether it's positive energy. I don't, I, I, I don't know if there is a scientific term for any of this, to be honest with you. I just know that if you explore this for yourself, this exists. So that also means that we have the ability to summon this energy at will as well. Wake up every day, take care of yourself, maybe meditate a little bit, learn to be present. Start growing, being aware that you're aware and pouring into yourself self. Create a relationship with yourself. Learn to love yourself. It's a lot easier to love others when you love yourself because all those judgements that you have about others you likely have about yourself or would have about yourself if you were like that. You have to remember that there's someone else that they're you living another life. Even though they're someone else, they're just like you. If you woke up in their body with their memories, with their life, you would react exactly the same way as them, and that can give you a whole different level of compassion for other people and yourself that you're gonna need to be truly open. That level of compassion is realized and that everyone is exactly like you. When Jesus said, and this isn't a religious show by any means, but I quote all sorts of people, when Jesus said, love yourself, sorry. Love your neighbor as yourself. I think this is the, the lesson here. You have to love the other person and love yourself as you love yourself, because it's both, all these judgements you have about everything else, everyone else that you have in your mind that maybe you don't share with the world and maybe you do. Why have them? What's the point? What good is it to care about someone's hairstyle while they're walking down the road? Or bullies are a great example of this, making fun of people, right? Who cares what they look like? Worry about yourself and don't, there is literally no reason to care what anyone else thinks because there's no, you don't need protection. Evaluate this for yourself. Do you, do you need some sort of like. Is there when you react or, or you're upset or what vulnerable part of yourself are you protecting? I mean, even when you're angry and pissed off, what part of you are you trying to protect or hide or, or, uh, you know what I mean? You have to think about that because you don't need protection from other people's words or thoughts. You don't worrying about what other people think of you is like, and what if you're wrong about what they think of you? Then it's like you are basing your life and actions and thoughts and feelings based off of what you think they're thinking of you when they're probably not thinking about you at all and thinking the same exact thing about themself. You, you, you're not vulnerable and need protection. This, there's no like small part of you that needs protection. We, we are all the same in this way. You're me living another life and I guarantee you, if I was in your shoes, I would do the same things you would do now. Maybe you disagree with me and that's okay. We can disagree and maybe one day I'll learn I'm wrong about something. And as I said in that first episode, I am not above admitting I'm wrong and changing my beliefs. I think in a cancel culture world, we should allow people, yes, they should be held responsible for their actions. And that if that means can getting quote unquote canceled, fine. But I also think in many cases, except for the ex, there might be some exceptions to this and, and many in many cases, we, we need to accept and we need to allow people to grow and change. We need to look at other people and say, you know what? I'm gonna allow them the opportunity to, to change and not view them like I always have. I'm gonna meet them with no expectation from them. But this doesn't mean being a doormat either. It doesn't mean letting people walk on you. No, no, no, no. Different thing. We got a good quote in chat. From Uber Geek, I would rather adjust my life to your absence than adjust my boundaries to accommodate your disrespect. And I do think that there are b healthy boundaries that we need to place with other people in our lives. Parents, children, uh, brothers, sisters, friends, everyone. And that doesn't mean it can be easy to look at this and say, well, Loren, didn't you just say to open up and not to set boundaries and to like, not protect yourself? It doesn't mean that these are two different things. You see, you can, you can set boundaries with people that, that set what is required for the relationship to continue. But that doesn't also mean allowing them to walk all over you or tell you what to do, for example. That would be disrespecting those boundaries. But that also doesn't mean like, you know, you don't have to open up to them if they're not within this, this level of trust. But it does mean you need to, what I am saying is you need to be open to even the enemies because you have nothing to hide. That's what I'm saying. You don't need to hide from your family. If you're gay, you, I'm not one to speak, and I'm sure that some people are worried about all sorts of other repercussions, right? But that's just one example, right? You don't need to, um, you don't need to care what other people think. You don't need to worry when you're at school if someone's gonna make fun of your pimple because what they're thinking in their mind is literally none of your business. You don't need protection. Being open doesn't mean not like having boundaries. It's setting the rules for the open relationship. It's easy for us introverts to wonder what other people are thinking or saying about us. It's really easy, but you have to remember their thoughts. You're never gonna know 'em and they're none of your business. Assume good intent. And you know there's a good way, and this is hard for introverts. Now, I'm a people person, despite being an introvert. I do need a lot of alone, alone time to recharge. But what if this meant disarming the worry? This means go to the person you're worried about what they think of you. Introduce yourself. Make a friend, turn them into a friend. Do this with an enemy. Do this with someone who's been making fun of you all year. Have a real talk with them. May, maybe you can get down to it. Maybe they're struggling with something else in their life and your compassion despite them doing that to you. Now, I don't want you to get into a fight or anything, have healthy boundaries, but you can disarm another person and, and your concern about what they think of you by introducing yourself. Say hello. Because every time you think about what they're thinking of you is, is an imprint. It's one of those samskara popping up and saying, ouch, ouch, ouch. This hurts internal thoughts about what they think of you. The benefit of opening up is emotional resilience. It's a paradox. The storm passes through quicker. Your capacity for love and compassion expands. Your creativity and clarity arise more naturally when you notice your heart tighten. Pause for a second. Take a deep breath and say to yourself, I'm a wave rider. I'm gonna keep the wellspring open. Keep this channel open. Every judgment, every imprint, every resilience is one of these blockages. Stopping that energy from coming through you and just allow it through. Keep that wellspring of yours open. Your heart's this wellspring full of energy that you can tap into. It's possible. The placebo effect is a real thing that scientists have to account for, which also means we have the power to be the placebo, right? Next time you notice your, you're self tighten up. And this is something someone called out years ago for me, uh, and she said, do you like hold your breath often? Like while you're doing things or thinking? And I'm like, yes. I didn't realize until I was aware that I was aware that that was happening. And when you become aware that you're aware, you notice little things like this. And when you're holding your breath like that, while when you're like thinking of focusing or something, learn to open up, take that deep breath and allow through because the cost of closing is bitterness, resentment, cynicism. Um, Victor Frankel, one of my favorite people to quote in Auschwitz, said that meaning was possible because he refused to let the inner light be extinguished. You have to refuse to let that light be extinguished. What other people think of you is not gonna blow out your light if you don't let it. It's none of your business what they think of you. Brene Brown says, when we armor up, we block out not just the pain, but the joy. So how can we put openness into practice this week? Well, I'm gonna challenge you to evaluate this for yourself as you're practicing awareness and, and presence and now openness. Evaluate all of your judgments.'cause you're, you're the wave rider. You're gonna notice that brainwave come up about this judgment about something you're gonna notice and say, aha, I see you, you shine, you, you the light of this inner heart. That you have this inner self on this awareness onto that, and now you see it and it's no longer hidden from view. Carl Jung calls this shadow work. I, I, I'm pretty sure I understand that properly. But it's noticing this part of yourself when you're aware that you're aware this part of yourself, that you've been protecting this part of yourself that. You never saw before. Holding your breath, judging things, resisting things, instead of allowing it through, allow it through. Be a wellspring. Open up, think expansively, and don't contract. Okay? That's my challenge for you this week. Notice when you tighten up, take a deep breath, ask yourself, what am I tightening up about? And you just breathe it out. Remember, you don't need protection. Everything that comes up, "this too belongs." This is how you begin to love yourself. This is how you begin to love others, and that is how you put openness into practice. Next week, episode, ride The Wave, episode four. Is going to include how to put all three of these into practice. I talked a little bit about it today, but we're gonna go into a little bit about habits, routine and structure like that. And remember, we record this show live every Saturday at 10:00 AM

Pacific, 5: 29:44

00 PM Universal Time Code. I believe that's what it's called. And this week, evaluate this for yourself, put it into practice, try it for yourself, and come back and comment. Let me know if I'm wrong. And could you do me a favor? One thing you could really do to help me grow right now is go follow me on all my social media platforms. The Lobro show, whether it's Twitch, instagram, YouTube X, Twitter, threads, all of those. And can you leave me a review on the podcast? I am so excited to finally have this released and out for you guys. And I would love it if you would give me an honest review. And if you hate this, I would love it if you'd tell me, I would love an honest review from you if you could spend the time to do that on one or many of the platforms. If you have time, that's one way you could help this show grow. Do you have someone in your life who might like this show that you could share this with today? It would mean a lot to me if we could get the word out there.'Cause I believe this show is one of those things that most people don't need, sorry, most people don't need. Most people don't know that they need. This show is something that most people don't know that would help them and benefit them. If I had to boil down what the purpose of this show is, it would be to learn how to glow from the inside without needing anything external for that joy. And that's it, everybody. I love you. Thank you for being here. I'll see you next week.

Live on Twitch at 10: 31:33

00 AM Pacific. And until then, ride the wave.